Becoming a car enthusiast is like any other addiction, except their is no cure for this one in particular. In this blog I will give you my top 5 problems that you should consider before hitting the pipe. By hitting the pipe I mean you trying to knock your exhaust pipe off so you can install that sweet ass aftermarket piece you just spent all of your savings on because you have a problem you can’t control.
(PRO TIP: I am not sexist. Everything stated is purely for humor)
1. It Is A Drug
Being a car enthusiast is more than just a hobby. It is a drug. Like gym rats worry about muscle gains, you will too, but your gains will be quite different. Power! Torque! Power! Torque! Power! Torque! You will without a doubt say to yourself ‘If only I can just get a littllllllllleeeee more power I will be happy’. Then you will begin lying to yourself, ‘This is fast enough. I don’t need more power. This is plenty’. The problem with horsepower is that you will never have enough. It can be similar to cigarettes where people start smoking a couple a day, turns into a few more, turns into a pack a day, turns into… well.. you get the idea. The same applies for your new sick addiction.
2. Never Accepting That Someone Will Always Be Faster
Going along with the addiction theme, this stems from the idea of not being able to accept that someone will always be faster than you. After diving into the car scene you will notice that your new obsession makes you feel like you are an unappreciated math genius. ‘But my car has 600 horsepower and only weighs 3,300 pounds and his car has 650 bhp at 3,800 lbs, which leaves me with a power to weight ratio of 0.34615385 more power than his slow ass car.’
So before you start making these technical errors let me remind you that their are other factors to racing than just power and weight. They are as constantly ignored but go as follows: Gear ratios, the ability to actually race and do it well, tire grip, drivetrain, etc.
3. Your Mouth Will Always Be Faster Than Your Car
For whatever reason, your mouth will begin to have more horsepower than your new sports car. Your mouth will have a speed of 0-mycarsfasterthanhis time quicker than the money you will begin blowing on mods. Whether it is at local car meets, forums, or ESPECIALLY on social media, you will begin saying things that are more outrageous than our presidential candidates. Considering you are new to being a car enthusiast you more than likely own a car that, quite frankly, isn’t very quick. Don’t be surprised if your group of friends, that own cheap slow cars like you, will say things like ‘I just dragged a brand new Camaro SS in my ’91 completely stock Civic. I wonder if he enjoyed seeing my tail lights?’
Please run from this group of people (because that Camaro wasn’t racing your buddy.
4. Find A Car Girl And Don’t Settle For Less
Immediately learn this part of the blog. I can assure you that you absolutely want to find a girl that is as into cars as much as you are. DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS. Your relationship will be sososo very much stronger if you can bring your chick to a car meet without hearing her complain about how ‘bored’ she is. Their is nothing worse than your girlfriend begs you to leave a car meet.
PRO TIP: If your partner knows nothing about cars, please politely educate her. As I stated in my previous blog, nothing is worse than a car guys girlfriend who starts attempting to speak sports car lingo and has no idea what she is saying. You will feel more embarrassed by this than you do following her around Victoria Secret while she tries to find a bra to fit her A cup breasts.
5. EWS (Empty Wallet Syndrome)
EWS is a common phenomenon found in all car enthusiasts across the world. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you though. As previously stated, being a car guy is a drug and drugs cost money. I really wish they offered self help communities for car enthusiasts because an empty bank account is never fun… Until you smash the gas… Then it’s okay… Right?
Thank you all for the tremendous amount of views for my last blog: 5 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Car Guy
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